As a lover you will give so much to your partner. You will give attention, affection, understanding, honest communication, forgiveness, trust, vision, hope, and encouragement, and also an openness to the possibility of life. All of these wonderful gifts can be expressed in your sexual union. That union summarizes your love.

Not only can love change your life, it can make life. That is a tremendous and still scientifically mysterious event. How your loving sexual union can result in a new life that was never present before in the history of the universe is a mystery that is deep and humbling. To be part of the creative work of God is an honor, a joy, and a responsibility. To know that our own beginning in this world is the result of God's will, and the mature, free, and loving union of two committed lovers gives our lives a dignity and sacredness. We are from God and we are from love.

The act itself is designed to increase the bond between partners. That's important for the new life emerging! As children, we need both parents to be united and fully available to us. As helpless vulnerable babies we would sure hope our folks were dependable, mature, and stable! Our life would literally be in the balance if not. That is another reason why it makes so much sense for sexual intercourse to remain in marriage. It is important for any potential new life that may result, no matter how remote, to have as stable a relationship as possible between it's parents. Marriage is a greater assurance of that than any other type of relationship.

Family Planning And Birth Control

When a couple knows their union is potentially life-giving, their love-making is different. It can be more loving and exciting, and also have that sense of sacredness. It can also be a cause of concern. You may want to limit the size of your family or space the timing of births. Our faith encourages you to be responsible in your ability to have and care for children.

On the altar you promise that you are open to the possibility of children. You do not promise that you will have children or how many there will be. After all, no one can predict God's part in his or her creation. We certainly cannot command God to do our will! Both of you, as partners in His work, may also decide to not have children at this time. It makes sense then to not engage in the act that expresses that potential and desire for life. You would abstain from sexual intercourse during a time when fertility is assured. NFP is a personal method for precisely knowing medically the time of fertility. Natural Family Planning (NFP) NFP is a system of determining each individual woman’s unique fertility cycle. It measures when fertility is assured. It involves a daily monitoring of specific bodily functions that are precise indicators of stages in the fertility cycle. This system reveals very accurately the days of fertility, for the purpose of having children or postponing them.

Earlier we mentioned all the gifts you bring to your spouse in your marriage. It is quite a list and quite difficult to do!  After all, we are only human and there are times when we forget to be understanding, or we are too tired to be encouraging and affectionate. While your love-making may not have all the elements present at all times, it would be seriously wrong to deliberately remove any one of them. For example, you would not say to your spouse, "Tonight, I'll be understanding and considerate... but I won't be affectionate at all!"  That would be crazy. You also would not want to say "I'll give you affection... but not anything else!" Imagine the reaction if we say, “ I’ll be affectionate and caring, but not faithful, for I’ll be with another partner tomorrow night!” If we do not want to deliberately remove any of the gifts, than we should not remove the gift of openness to life either. If we are unable to authentically give the gift of openness to life to our partner, then it makes sense to not engage in the sexual act that expresses that very openness. We actually promise, however, to be open to the possibility of new life, and so, if by the will of God there is a pregnancy, then we choose to bring the child to term. We are not required by the Lord to have children, or even to be parents. Every new life is a gift, not a reward or accomplishment, and definitely not a right. We simply promise that if there is a moment of creation, if there is a life, we will bring the child into the world.

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