Some couples choose to live together before marriage. There are a lot of different reasons why couples choose this option. Some reasons may be quite noble, while others are more selfish. Some partners have seen their parents or good friends divorce and do not want that trauma for themselves. They choose cohabitation as a "testing" experience to try out their relationship. They might want to simply test "compatibility." While the intention is wonderful, the means chosen may not work.

A scientific survey of almost all professional studies in the U.S. in the last thirty years shows that couples who cohabited before marriage generally report satisfaction for a time in their marriage, but are significantly more likely to divorce than couples who did not cohabit before marriage. They divorce more easily over smaller issues than non-living together couples. There is often not the same desire to work through problems to a successful outcome for prior cohabiting couples. Living together can possibly indicate whether a couple can manage a house together, but not the real degree of commitment between them. That takes other skills that are not revealed in cohabitation, and, in fact, often obscured by it.

The only proven asset to insure success in marriage is the maturity of the couple. A mature couple really does not need anything else but quality time together to honestly communicate to insure marital success.

A cohabiting couple also signals to others that they are engaging in sexual activity before the public marriage bond. We believe it makes sense then, that a couple would agree to live apart during the time before the marriage. If they are unable to do so for serious reasons, for example, severe economic hardship, then we ask that they agree to live apart within the house, and announce this arrangement to their families and friends.

You may be surprised at the good effect of separating before marriage. Some couples report a beautiful rediscovery of other forms of affection. You know how for some couples their relationship moves very quickly from the first meeting to sexual intercourse. They move fairly quickly from shaking hands to sexual intercourse, and long before their feelings have had a chance to catch up. By together agreeing to forego the highest sexual expression, couples rediscover (sometimes for the first time) the whole range of sexual expression below intercourse.

There is actually a lot we can do with our bodies besides intercourse! So much more feeling, romance, and affection can now be placed in such simple gestures as an embrace, a close walk together, a more gentle kiss, or even just holding hands. If the intentions are there and in bal-ance, then even simple acts can be extraordinarily satisfying and fulfilling. After all, our main sexual organ is our mind! Separation can help you become an expert in loving sexual behavior!

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